I do not advise eating Cap’n Crunch. It shreds the roof of your mouth with its sharp edges and then it burrows into your pulpy flesh like some sort of sand beetle.
However, if you’re into that sort of thing, here is a romanticized description of this awful, awful cereal from Neal Stephenson’s ‘Cryptonomicon’.
Excerpt from ‘Cryptonomicon’
Nothing says being a kid more than waking up on Saturday morning, pouring yourself a big bowl of nutritionally-questionable cereal and watching some nutritionally-questionable cartoons. And nothing says the Mt. Rushmore Podcast more than Richard and Michael arguing over the Mt. Rushmore of Kids Cereals. Meanwhile, Jeff is thoroughly disgusted by a shocking revelation that will make us the targets of BIG MILK.
What better way to kick off the Mt. Rushmore Podcast with a debate on the Mt. Rushmore of Fictional Presidents? Jeff moderates as Richard and Michael debate the merits of the heroic, idiotic and sometimes evil men who lead us (the fictional ones, of course).
Michael Winfield and Richard Manfredi argue. A lot. About everything. But mostly about the Mt Rushmores of Life: the four things that best represent any particular category. It could be sports, music, films, cereal or months of the year – there’s a good chance that Michael and Richard have a strong opinion on whose Mt Rushmore is the best.
To save their friendship, they’ve turned to the most reasonable person they know – Jeff Hopkins. Jeff is serving as judge and jury as he moderates their “discussions” on the merits of their Mt Rushmore of Anything and then rules on whose was best.
(NOTE: Jeff’s decisions are final and binding, in accordance with the US Fair Podcast Act of 2010.)
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